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March 21, 2010 / Jenny Ann Fraser

Finding Inspiration Wherever I Can

I have been trying for over a week now to write my next post.  This has been challenging not so much because I’m working very long hours to prepare for the next show, but because my perfectionism is getting in the way and wasting my very limited time. Grrr

I write, I re-write, I give up writing because nothing seems to come out the way I want it to.  The end result is that I now have somewhere in the neighborhood of 8 drafts. Some have actual paragraphs, some nothing more than single lines, others are just titles, ideas that I intend to pursue but can’t quite organize right now.

Anyway, I just found this lovely poem by Charlie Chaplin and thought I would take the easy road, just this once and post it here.  I thought it was a good reminder for me, and therefore might benefit others as well.

As I Began to Love Myself
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time,
and everything happens at the exactly right moment.
So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.
Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health –
food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself.
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right,
and ever since I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future.
Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening.
Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick.
But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others.
Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.
Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!

-Charlie Chapin

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6 Comments

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  1. Amara / Mar 21 2010 11:35 am

    Hi Jenny

    I can relate!!

    I also have several drafts that I’ll never get round to finishing.

    I think as Entrepreneurs we are programmed to be perfectionists. You’d never sell a sub-standard bag, or design a dress you didn’t like and I think it’s the same with writing.

    You don’t want to release a post you’re not happy with and that’s understandable. It’s difficult to find the balance between quality and quantity as a writer, but as a reader, I don’t think there’s much difference between a great post and a very good one, however we can spend hours (or days in my case) trying to move from good to great.

    Obsessing about a post can be so frustrating, so when I find myself doing it I do two things; I make sure spell check are happy, and then I click publish.

    Good Luck!

    • jennyannfraser / Mar 21 2010 2:49 pm

      Thank you so much! You are of course correct. I’ve found myself re-reading my writing over and over until I hate something I was once proud of, which is why I made a rule against reading old posts.
      I suspect at this point my problem might be partly due to too many hours at work and not enough time to think about anything else. Ideas just don’t seem to flow, but I accept this and regard it as temporary.
      Good Luck to you too my new friend!

  2. Tuner / Mar 21 2010 12:58 am

    Thats a great poem. Thanks for posting it here!!

  3. BK / Mar 21 2010 7:32 pm

    Jenny, it seems that you are not alone on the perfectionism; I have been facing similar situation for a few weeks and too have drafts waiting to be completed so that they will be published. Yet nothing seems to be coming out. I do hope we can all get out thoughts flowing soon. 🙂

    • jennyannfraser / Mar 22 2010 1:11 am

      I think that these things must happen as they are meant to, and the trick is not to get caught up in telling the story. Support is incredibly helpful too, so thank you!

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