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July 24, 2011 / Jenny Ann Fraser

That Still Small Voice

I have written before about how I started this blog, just over a year ago to promote a business that I was planning to start. I was writing because I thought I had to.

Before long, I was writing because it felt like home. A home where I could organize my hyper-active mind, share what I had always been bursting to say and create in a way I had never imagined. And then starting a business became impossible as I knew that it would get in the way of my writing.

Even though, I had no idea what I wanted to do, I knew that I had to write.

It still amazes me that I could get to this age and not know that I would love this. It is even more amazing to me that I had,as far as I knew, no desire to write at all.

This past week has been one long series of small, serendipitous occurrences that leave me wondering how it is that I so often get caught up in the hectic pace of my life and forget that writing for me is so much more than just another hobby that I have picked up to pass the time. (Not that any of my hobbies are that, but this one is different.) It is clear to me now that there is a purpose to my writing, even when I am not sure what it is.

I am connecting the dots backwards, paying attention to other small things that have occurred over the course of my adult life and it seems so clear that The Universe was steering me here all along.

I am remembering the moments over the years when my best friend used to tell me that he thought I should be a writer. It didn’t make sense to me because I didn’t feel any compelling desire to write as I did to create art, to make music, to sew.

My therapist almost begged me to start a blog nearly a dozen years ago.

I thought she was crazy!

There were long rambling emails to distant friends that turned my day to day life into hilarious adventures, and work faxes that were far more creative than they needed to be, but made suppliers laugh and write creative replies back.

There has also been compulsive journaling since I knew how to make letters into words.

And then, there were those first nights walking along the frozen river two years ago when suddenly I felt as though I was being told to write. I ignored the feeling until it went away.

And so, hard times took over driving me to plan a business I was never destined to start… it really doesn’t pay to be stubborn.

Thinking about these events, (and they were events even though I didn’t realize it) combined with what has occurred this past week; I have come to a conclusion.

It is far more dangerous not to listen to your heart than it ever could be to follow it.

Not listening has not saved me from pain nor sorrow nor failure. Not listening has not made me feel safe nor happy. Not listening has not made me successful.

And now, though I am no more certain of what the future will bring to me. I am certain of one thing.

That voice, is NOT to be ignored.

I have no doubt, that we all have it. I have no doubt that if we allowed ourselves to be still enough to hear, and brave enough to listen we would all find ourselves on a better path. A path that would not only lead us to greater joy, security, love, but a path that would lead to all of the things that we need to contribute and share what we came here to contribute and share.

And that would make life better for everyone.

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14 Comments

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  1. Greg / Jul 24 2011 4:50 pm

    Aye. I wonder how many of us could be much greater than who we are if paid more attention to these internal whispers. Great perspective, Jenny! Thanks for sharing.

    • Jenny Ann Fraser / Jul 25 2011 8:25 am

      Thank you Greg!
      I too wonder what the world would be like if we chose to listen to our hearts rather than the media? What a world as could have then!

  2. mommylebron / Jul 24 2011 5:30 pm

    I can’t imagine a world without your writing. You have such a pure and consise voice. Everything you write leaves me in quiet contemplation. Thank you for reminding me to heed that voice.

    • Jenny Ann Fraser / Jul 25 2011 8:24 am

      Thank you Amanda!
      I was thinking Bout you yesterday when I was attempting to update my about page. It was a comment you made about arriving at you own door and I think about it often. So, thank you for your inspiration!

  3. Kathy Loh / Jul 24 2011 7:38 pm

    Were we separated at birth? 🙂 totally get it and celebrating that you are claiming your “writer!” No matter that it is now instead of then. A writer writes and that’s what you’ve been doing. I love your voice – keep expressing. We’re all better for it.

    • Jenny Ann Fraser / Jul 25 2011 8:21 am

      Thank you so much Kathy!
      I too have wondered if we are not somehow living parallel lives! It’s uncanny sometimes.
      Thank you for your lovely comments and for reading.
      I will be sure to have more writing up by the end of the week.

  4. brittany220 / Jul 24 2011 8:04 pm

    I’m glad that you are writing, Jenny! Maybe you’ll write a book one day!

  5. Viv / Jul 25 2011 12:09 am

    I am glad you did.
    thank you.
    x

    • Jenny Ann Fraser / Jul 25 2011 8:18 am

      Hi Viv ,
      Thank you.
      Actually, this post was published a couple of months ago. I was fooling around with re-designing the blog and I screwed up and published it again.
      Funny though that I would pick this one just when I am getting back to writing again! 🙂
      Thank you for commenting!

  6. DM / Jul 25 2011 11:20 pm

    glad you are writing and connecting the dots too…always enjoy hearing what’s happening in your corner of the world.

    • Jenny Ann Fraser / Jul 27 2011 8:19 am

      Thank you for that Doug. It feels good to be getting back on track

  7. Patricia / Jul 26 2011 10:54 pm

    Always a joy to read what you have to say and knowing what you are feeling – oh that sometimes naggy little voice that will not be still. Glad you are listening and being reminded.

    If writing is your business, I have a few referrals for you…one with a new book that is truly advice that is paying off for him.

    I love to write but I do not want to write what others want me to write any more. makes it hard to earn funds

    • Jenny Ann Fraser / Jul 27 2011 8:22 am

      Hi Patricia,
      Thank you as always for your kind words. I may just take you up on your offer!
      I have no plans to quit my day job at any point in the near future. 😉 Writing is just the path I need to take to see where it leads me. (if that makes any sense?). I’ll know where I’m going when I get there.

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